Melody
You have heard the story of my name. Walter gave us three lovely words to choose from. I became Melody. It is an appropriate name. We, the complete Isness have but one identity and that can be called "I am". It is the melody of the All That Is. it is the song of everything and nothing. "I am" is a very limited expression of what the Isness is but is it the closest I have been able to find.
I have spent eons watching human kind wrap itself in identity. We all begin as merely an expression of "I am", this great song, the great celebration of beingness. And then in limitation humankind begins to add to that. It moves from being-ness to definition of an I: I am human. I am woman. I am man. I am mother. I am father. I am builder. I am hunter. I am someone. I am leader. I am follower. I am this and that and the other. Slowly you build up this set of beliefs that you are these many things. You believe it. You surround yourself with all these identities and then begin to interact with all the other ones who think they are someone. And that you call life.
I have called the staff psychologist of The Pixies because I am so fascinated with this process of identity and with the interactions of the identities you call people. What an amazing process it is. So lovely and yet so very painful if you believe it is real, it would appear.
Through my interest in your fascinating process, I drew up a story to explain how you got where you are. I say it is a story because it is based in the concept of time and since that doesn't really exist it has to be a story. It's all a lovely story, a tragi-comedy of the highest degree. I called this concept I came up with First Judgment. I wanted to explain how you could go from a being who was unlimited, undefined, not separate and living outside of judgment to being in the pickle you seem to think you are in today. Here's how it goes.
Once upon a time long long ago you were an unlimited being. You were a thought converted to light with a soul, like me. And you mostly just be-ed but from time to time you were moved to help in creation. That part of the story is Harmony's fun Creation game. At some point you became fascinated with life in the body. You decided to take on a body to see what it was like, to experience this state of almost separation and physical experience. Most began in the density that our friend Hon Sone Lee exists in--fifth density. A few, watching people embrace judgment in the density you live in now, got so involved that they literally embraced judgment by getting so involved in the movie they forgot it was a movie. I call these folks "Oopsers". They are few and far between. I only met one or two in the years that I was playing the game with folks.
The rest of you, were a bit more deliberate about the process. You fall into two groups: The Helpers and The Crap-shooters. The Helpers saw that folks in 7th density (where you live now) were always asking for help to deal with their situation and thought they really really needed help and so you decided you'd answer the call and go help--never really stopping to think that you might get wrapped up in the game yourselves. The Crap-shooters saw clearly that anyone going into 7th density eventually got wrapped up in the game. You purposely went to see how long you could last before you embraced judgment and then how long it would take to get back out. To you it was a big dare-devil crap shoot just for the hell of it and the experience of it.
You see when you are not in judgment, you know that this whole thing is just a game. It's not serious. It's not a problem so who cares if you embrace judgment? You embrace judgment and see how long it takes you get back out. It's like playing Monopoly or any other game. No big deal. Time doesn't exist so you aren't spending a long time at it. It's just that once you have actually embraced judgment you forget that it's a game and then it becomes serious shit!
I helped people see what process they went through to cozy into judgment--very few people just go pop into judgment like the Oopsers--with the idea that understanding how you got there might help you find your way out. The other thing about the process that people found helpful was understanding literally what their very first judgment was because this turns out to be a very deep and overarching core belief across all your lifetimes. Once folks heard about their first judgment they began to see this first judgment everywhere in their lives and began to realize that it pretty much ran the show.
Why did I do this? You might say I'm a helper at heart. I know that I can't really help you. All I can do is give your hints and tell you about things I have observed. You are the one who must set yourself free. And the first step in doing that is realizing that you never ever made a mistake. Embracing judgment was not a mistake. You are not wrong for having done it. You do not have to pay and atone and make right again everything you've ever done wrong. That's hopeless. The only way out of this game is stopping judging your judgments. Judging your judgments as bad and wrong or right and good is what binds you into continuing to judge and that binds you to this lovely reality. Only by seeing that judgment just is what it is and that it is not a problem can you set yourself free from it. You actually have to learn to love judgment in a kind sort of way rather than in a valuing sort of way; become friends with it, so that you can see it really has no more power than you give it.
Sara wrote a very nice little booklet called First Judgment explaining the ins and outs of First Judgment and she kindly put it on this website as a PDF file. When you find time I suggest you read it. Until then contemplate what runs you. Contemplate what drives you nuts in other people. Contemplate your rules and what you are most afraid of in your life. And slowly of your own accord you can uncover your first judgment and begin the process of cozying back out of the game you are so entrenched in.
Remember, it's all a game. A sweet, sweet game to help explore all the facets of "I am." We are singing that song each time we move into the game of action in the apparent world. Celebrate "I am" in it's purity without a definition and see where that takes you! Home!
On a different note, I thought I would let you know that I was on the creation committee that created forsythia, that lovely bit of spring sunshine that can light up a garden in the early spring. To me this color of yellow is the color of sunshine condensed into matter.